Is there a moment in a person's life where they just feel that the world is at an end? I would think so. Suicide would be the action they might take. That's the way my life feels right now. No, I'm not suicidal, although I would have no problem contemplating the aerodynamics of arm-to-wing span when jumping off the roof of the house...
My life was simple. I had it all. I lost it all. I got it all back, I lost it all once again. And here I am; a ball of yarn so tangled that even the old lady trying to knit from the other end is throwing monolithic temper tantrums. In fact, I'm pretty sure she's trying to cut me loose right now, but can't break through the yarn with her dentures (she can't find the scissors, you see). And although I'm sure to most that this would come off as childlike and pointless, to me... this is quite an unenviable situation I'm facing.
I have moved my family back into the pits of Hell. The fires have burned so torridly, there is no way to cool off. Little devils are constantly prodding my flesh and creating such torment that death seems like an unattainable gift. Where is this place that I would send my husband and son to live, you ask? The house of my parents. Oh yeah. It's pretty bad. I mean, it's not like it's an abusive place to live or anything like that (although I'm pretty sure my mother and father are the ones that are really prodding my flesh when I'm not looking). It's just hard to be here. I'm 30 years old and no woman with her own family should be living in her parents' basement, doing their dishes, cleaning up after them and working an utterly atrocious job where you wish you could have your own 'prod poking' machine.
That's the other difficult situation that I'm facing. The activities that go on at work are not so... how do you say... legal? I've got enough information to protect myself and maybe a co-worker or two, but it's so hard to stop myself from sending these little pieces of tidbits to the papers. Nobody would believe me anyway, would they? Of course not. There's just too much that they've covered and the paper trail is limited. AND IF YOU ARE MY BOSS AND YOU'RE READING THIS... I HOPE YOU GET YOUR OWN LITTLE DEVILS POKING YOU!!! This is not fair. How did I get dragged into this? I'm sure the bosses had a hidden lasso that they twisted into a warped knot and wrapped it around me. I did not agree to any of this. And yes, I disagreed with them on several things that led to shouting matches in the office.
But now they've sucked in more people. And these people don't know any better that these things are NOT LEGAL!! I've informed two other staff members that it's not right and that they shouldn't do them, and one has stopped doing them, the other is still working on this abominable act of human nature (okay, maybe not that bad).
I need a new job. I need a place to move into. This landlord that was supposed to be checking our references and saying that we pretty much have the house, is taking his sweet time in getting back to us, leading me to tell my husband that if he doesn't get back to us by next week, we HAVE to find something else! We need a sitter that can watch our son from Monday to Friday (as opposed to Monday to Thursday). My bosses are already threatening to cut my hours down (which isn't legal either... surprise, surprise), and I'm to the point of wishing that the world was over.
DEAR GOD! PLEASE EITHER HELP ME OR TAKE ME!!! I just can't do this anymore. I'm too far gone.
I'm sorry that this has been a rather bimestrial letter of complaint, but I just had to get it out there (not caring if parents or bosses read this). And if there are any suggestions as to how to help me, I would be glad to take them.
Carrying The Last Pitchfork;
Mel
0 komentar:
Posting Komentar