Reality Check

So there is a new commercial out there that is promoting... er... periods? No, no. They're promoting people noticing that you're on your period. It's these new UBY Kotex tampons that are on the shelves now. And anybody who has ever passed that isle in WalMart (it's at the back near the pharmacy, hidden from all the male world), or the little convienent stores that actually sell something cheaper than $10 for 4 tampons, you'll notice a little black box so carefully placed in the middle of everything. It just jumps out at you. On the box is a gigantic 'U' then followed by the words 'by Kotex'. Which is a great clarity in a lot of matters, because if I purchase this brand, I would sure like to know that it is, in fact, me. Or a rather large random letter picked out by some girl in the Kotex business looking for a promotion that she's bound to get if she picks out the right Scrabble tile. The improper use of grammar is not what holds my attention (as I'm sure many of the customers). It is the bright (and I mean BRIGHT), bold colours that the little black box contains. Green, yellow, red and blue pop out at you, letting you choose what 'colour' you are for the day. As if somebody on their period is going to say "Hm. I think I'm feeling a little green today." Oh! But you also get the option of choosing not only one, but several colours if you're in the mood! There is an interesting commercial out there right now, that I haven't seen on TV, but on the Youtube (pardon the grose likeness of that website to this conversation). The ad is as such:

Girl talking peacefully: "How do I feel about my period? Uh, we're like (crosses fingers to indicate closeness). I love it. I want to hold really soft things... like my cat (a cat hisses in the background). It makes me feel really pure. Sometimes I just want to run on a beach. I like to twirl. Maybe in slow motion. And I do it in my white spandex. And usually by the third day, I really just want to dance. The ads on TV are really helpful because they use that blue liquid and I'm like 'Oh! That's what's supposed to happen.'"

Words pop up on the screen: 'Why are tampon ads so ridiculous?'

I have a question for Kotex. Why make something so ridiculous? 'Have I tried these myself' you ask? Yes, I have. I bought a box and looked at the extremely bright colours staring back at me upon opening. A little pull of the 'inner tube' and voilà! A see-through contraption containing a single, braided rope concealed inside. Comfortable, sure. However, thanks ever so much to your irradiated tampons, when disposed of, EVERYBODY knows when I'm on my period.

Good job, Kotex. Good job.



Mel.