My Epic Fail

So upon receiving my birthday gift (The Eat-Clean Diet Cookbook), I decided to try a few recipes to help along with my new introduction to eating healthy. I found a recipe that I knew I would like, and gathering all the guts that my stomach contains (which is a lot), I open grabbed the chicken, brown rice, edamame and carrots and started off on the long journey created by 'clean' stir-fry. After realizing that I have never cooked chicken in my entire life (or rarely any food; as my husband is the cook), I panicked (he was at work). I was, however, ready to take on the task of learning to cook this food that looked so deliciously and aesthetically appeasing on the next page. As I stared at the skillet sitting so carelessly on the stove, my mother-in-law saw the terror in my eyes and came to my rescue. She showed me how to cook the chicken, what to do, what I shouldn't have done. After everything was assembled, I stared at the plate in front of me. There is no way that what I cooked looked like it did on the page. And I'm saying I cooked it, because I did. My mother-in-law just showed me what to do. Well, the taste was labelled as 'okay', as I drank sips of water after each bite. Would I make it again? There's a good possibility, as my husband explained to me that it takes a couple of fails before you master it. Still, fail.

So onto dessert. It looked so good, fluffy and yummy on the second page, a dessert that could not fail it was so easy to make. Ah, then along comes 'Miss Can't Cook' and I destroyed what little of it was left. I beat the living crap out of it. No, really, because the recipe said to. This dessert called the 'Super Pudding' was really getting me all excited because I thought it was too easy. ONE teensy, tiny little problem; I thought it was too easy. Super Pudding is supposed to be fluffy and 'pudding-like'. Let's just say I'm enjoying a glass of 'smoothie' right now as we speak. There was no fluff. There was no beauty. There is just a straw. Again, fail.

Tomorrow, I'm going to attempt the 'Chicken Strips and Tofu Szechuanese'. Now only if I could learn to pronounce it. I figured, by tomorrow night, I'll be having that 'Pomegranate Fizz' that requires champagne and triple sec...



Mel.